I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
