I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i think i just lost a toe
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
