so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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