She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
