dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
