wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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