Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
