I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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