i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
