I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
