I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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