This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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