I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dicks are not precious.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
