I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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