ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
