i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
