Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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