it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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