i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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