I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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