my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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