i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There r osticjed everywhere
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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