she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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