i wish there were pregnant emoticons
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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