Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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