Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
bring money and cleavage
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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