Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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