Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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