I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
