and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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