So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
