i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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