Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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