you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
birth control should be required to get into college
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
