i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
