dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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