Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
