I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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