Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
