I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
