Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
