is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
