careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Only a mothe r could love this liver
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
