I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
