$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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