I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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