What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
