We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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