I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
