You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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