im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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