Don't you send me to vm
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
