One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
